Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Private.

It's been an interesting leap around here and I've made the descision to take the blog private. If you'd like access, please email me and I will get you an invitation.

This is a time for me to grow. Learn a lot and put the words of my new journey down.

It's time I become true to myself again.

Somewhere in life, we all are told to stop being who we naturally were. Don’t do this and don’t do that. Bad girl. Many more limitations were put on us than were encouragement and explanations. Our curiosity got squelched and sometimes we were punished, severely.

Eventually we stopped wanting to learn and grow as our brains became cluttered with all those messages, pain becoming a frequent consequence for normal expression. Then as we grew older, other negative experiences added to these bad feelings about ourselves. We are so unaware of the sheer volume of negative messages in our subconscious. Only a small percentage makes it into our consciousness. And you wonder why one can feel so emotionally overwhelmed?

This is a deeply emotional, psychological, and physiological transition.

I must take the risks, face the fears, be creative, and ultimately learn how to stay focused on what I want to achieve and even to have fun.

I guess you can say I'm taking a break that distracts my mind. I am waking myself up. I am slowly taking off that which has been weighing me down and keeping me feeling dark. I am opening myself up.

All that I think is important is respect and clear boundaries along the way.

Ultimately we all must follow our own Truth.

Pretending it doesn't exist doesn't make it any less real.

For so many, it's easy to tell me to do this and that when you're not the one living my life. It's so easy for them to judge me. It's so easy for them to make false assumptions. Choosing to believe in something otherwise doesn't change the reality of the situation. But most don't even ask me or know what the reality of the situation is. And because at the end of the day, regardless of what they say or do, they keep forgetting that they don't want to understand how I live my life. They stopped trying to put themselves in my shoes because all they can see is how their own life has worked for them. They're looking at the same elephant through different eyes. I could never be happy if I subscribed to their ideals of walking away when the going gets rough. And most of them have chosen to walk away.

So you know what?

It doesn't matter at all.

You know they're not responsible for my happiness.

But I am.

2 comments:

shalonda said...

ummmm please give us access....hope yall are doing well hun

Amy said...

Hey lady. I LOVE YOU!! I'm proud of you,too. Email me and I'll give ya some great books/links to look at...they'll help you on this "little journey". xoxo A